hopefully this is the nadir

One of those days that doesn’t seem to go anywhere, that circles back and back on itself.  I spent all day working furiously and had nothing to show for it at the end.  I gave up tickets to see one of my favorite bands to stay at the office and fight with the printer.  It jammed every 150 pages.  I was trying to print 4000 pages.  That’s a lot of paper jams.  To un-jam it, you have to take all the pieces out, one by one, and pry at the hot metal with poor scorched fingertips.  Then: place everything back inside, walk away, wait ten minutes, go back, and try not to weep.  Jammed again.

It is hard to feel like you are changing the world when you are pulling ripped paper out of a machine for the tenth time in an hour.

I am sick and tired.  Only twelve days left but it feels like an eternity.

EDIT: Just to throw salt in the wound, my google weather just told me that it is currently 72 degrees in San Francisco.  I am huddled under four blankets and drinking hot tea and I AM STILL COLD. UGH.

EDIT2: And then I watched the video below and felt better.  Twelve days.

road trip

The PA Youth Vote team took a road trip this past weekend.  We drove to State College, which is – wait for it – the home of the largest state university, Penn State.  They are not very imaginative with their city names here.  (In Pennsylvania’s defense, I also saw road signs for a town named Desire, which given it’s location, I’m guessing is the result of excess creativity). The road trip did not start off particularly well, as we got on the road late, got stuck in Friday afternoon traffic, and then missed our exit by about 40 miles, and ended up taking five and a half hours for a three and a half hour drive (we made it back today in three).  Overall I’d say the weekend was a success though.

It was about fifteen degrees colder there than in Philadelphia, so it really felt like fall, verging into winter.  It was Homecoming weekend, and on Saturday the streets were full of college students and families in blue and white sweatshirts and hats and mittens.  We mostly hung out in the local Obama office, in the student room, where we we got to know some very dedicated volunteers.  I’m talking college students who pretty much lived at the office, including late Friday night and early Saturday morning.

I took Saturday night and Sunday morning off to visit an old high school friend of mine who lives about an hour away from State College.  Small town Pennsylvania is beautiful this time of year, so I have to admit I would not want to live out there (she doesn’t really either).  It was a really nice visit; she’s one of those friends that no matter how long it has been (two years in this case) there’s no awkwardness or introductory period, we always fall right back into sync.

Now I have a cold and am battling a sinus headache to try to write something of interest, since I have been rather lax at updating this blog recently (even without the weekend trip I’ve been very busy, staying later at work as the election approaches).

Right now we are struggling to keep up the intensity of volunteer (and staff) efforts, given that the polls all show Obama with a solid lead in Pennsylvania.  I’m glad of that, but also terrified.  I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I’m afraid it will drop on our heads.  But it’s very alluring to relax, to get excited, to count the chickens, etc.

Speaking of chickens.  We stayed with a retired professor and his wife on their little farm near the university.  They had chickens in their front yard, and a bee hive.  Upstairs, where we stayed, there was a deep bath tub and large windows without curtains.  From the bath I looked outside at the bright frosty morning, and a horse wandered by, and I thought: what a lovely place to be right now.  But I am glad to be back in the city too, and not to see my breath when I walk outside.

they say san francisco is strange

I always forget how otherworldly my grandparents’ house is. Not just their house: their whole lives. I went to the tennis club today to watch a tournament between students from Yale, Harvard, Oxford, and Cambridge. (And when I say “the tennis club” I mean one of the oldest lawn tennis and cricket clubs in the United States.) Whites (white clothes that is) are required on all courts. All of the spectators under thirty (there weren’t many) were elaborately pretty and well-dressed. Whenever I spoke about the campaign to any of my grandmother’s friends, my grandmother reminded me to keep my voice down, because we were in enemy territory. In short: I have left an urban land of hipsters and hippies for a suburban land of wealthy WASPs.

The weather is glorious here though: seventy-eight degrees, low humidity, blue skies forever. I wish this was the beginning of my vacation rather than two months in – it’s a perfect place to rest and relax. As it is, I am ready to find myself some occupation. I emailed the New Jersey Obama field director, and hope he will tell me where to go. When the subject of my volunteer-search comes up, my grandmother reels off a list of people who have some connection to the campaign, however tenuous. It just takes time to contact these people, and everyone is busy, and will get back to me later. I am trying to hold in my impatience. There is work to be done, somewhere nearby. I’ll find it.